In The Room

(the 15 of January, 2010, Ealing)

In the room, half past noon
We sat down and she said:
"You may pretend to be a professional
If you choose
But
You’re wearing the wrong coloured shoes
I can’t take my eyes off your silver shoes"
So I thought
I'm too visible
Your eyes too eager
Now that I've felt
Your bite
And I’m still here
Pretending the pieces of "I"
Are all together.
Lets find out whether
I can do enough
Yo take your mind
Off my
Wrong coloured shoes
To find out why the black bird in your head
Sings the blues.

In the room, half past one
We sat down and he said:
"I am the reason mum and dad
Still share the same bed
I am the saviour, the prophet,
The kid that the chef wouldn’t dare to buffet.
And I want to do good, and I want to do well-"
I just stared at him
As if under some spell.
And I too longed to worship this golden calf
And I could tell that
Love
Would never be sweeter
If I could hold
Those hands
Peeling with dryness
If I could kiss those eyes
Melting with sadness.
If I could just say:
You are good, my love, good.
The hour closing in on us,
I saw him away
Aura, wings and all,
Seeped through the door.
A golden ship sailing out of the bay.
And it felt as if light
Had been sucked out of the room.
Cinderella was left in rags
Holding a broom.

In the room, half past two
We sat down and she said
"Drugs have taken my son.
To me he is dead, to his own miserable habit wed.
I can’t cry no more"
And she wept and she wept
She was spilling all over the floor
I fought the flood
Threw buckets of water
Overboard
Until my arms were sore
Until I felt I could not hold this bending willow
Any more.
I kept my feet dry
My eyes firm on the shore.
Later, alone
On a platform to home
I took a chance look
Down the bottomless
Well of sadness
Searing incarnate madness
I cried raw tears
Under Detatchment’s
sturdy dome.