In-between and digress

In-between
(London, October 2011)

The world begins
Days roundabout
Staring at trees
The hour of glory
Cow-bells danga-langa
Haloed heads, eyes ablaze
Cruel scientists
Probe into nature’s flesh
With knives and catapults
Experiment cat
Chases a tin tied to its tail
Chickens hatch
And when they sprout feathers
We recoil at the grey ugliness
Of the in-between
It doesn’t wash off
So we shove one down the latrine
Hanging onto the window sill
On the edge of a ten-inch precipice
Hovering above deep water
In the living-room armchair
One push and you drop
In the sharks’ lair
The moon
A light-bug trapped in a matchbox
Queens of the night bloom
Scent buzzes
And we wake from dreams to earth’s quake
Standing in the door frame
Still against the wave
Fresh towels and candles
The cupboards are heaving
For the dead must leave gifts for the living
And a death feast suits rice
Seasoned with sugar not spice
To drink Christ’s blood
Cut with gas water
Large syphoned bottles
Are balanced in each hand
If I drop one will it go “bang”?
And so childhood ends in hormonal boom
Long before the sun recedes
To dwarfish doom.

Digress
(London, 2011)

I am late for a meeting
I decide on a fiddly blouse
I force sixteen buttons
Through sixteen minute holes
The organza folds onto itself
Mille feuille
Blundering fingers dig
Into the delicate fabric like moles
I race for the last wagon
I curse the legged crowd
I hurl my bulging bag across town
Shrunken in my seat,
Compressed to my slightest
Oh, F*** it
I’ve got the day wrong
Put me down now
(Or get me an eye test)
U-turn sequence gets tied up in knots
My thoughts spin at the speed of automated bots
Outside Brixton station
I’m oblivious to the sweet fragrance of dope
Until I witness the woman’s encounter
With the undercover cop
Her eyes bulge up into a plea of stupidity
His are greedy for validity
Under the arches I’m a captive
To gaudy Technicolor neck-laced roses
But the sale-woman only has eyes
For the girl who suffers from
Word trichinosis
I let the young man
With bleached eyebrows
Powder my cheek
I buy my little relief compressed in a tin
I can afford to walk past the crying woman
Clutching a baby with Downs
But on the bus I’m pinned down
To her private hell
Her sadness strips me of my shell
On the pavement
A robin’s orange breast
Lies arrested in death
An unturned postcard
That says: “To live is to digress”

Idus Martii

(London, the 14th of March, 2012)

She dreamed of purity
Death, a coy child,
Was watching us from behind
Words wonderful,
Loose, rolling, rolling mandarins
Perfumed fruit that
Tasted bitter in my mouth
I could not hear her laughter
For the toll bells’ strident ringing
And please don’t ask – don’t ask who
They were ringing for
We tap-danced on a coffin
She dared me not to look down
But I saw her true face under the paper mask
Beware the Ides of March!
I preached – lunatic prophet of doom
Beware the Ides of March!
But she was the Labyrinth,
The Sacrifice
And the Minotaur

In Mind

(the 19th of February, 2012)

The mind is a child at play
Boundlessly vivacious
Then bored
Throws smaller toys
On the floor – to be swept away
He gestures the loss by opening up a
Circle with both hands,
An invisible container of puzzlement, grief
The entire body is called upon
To pronounce rigor mortis
Uncertain of its age
It will keep asking for a place and a time
It moves on to grander projects
The basic facts of birth and death
Never owned
Swallowed whole
In the arms of the grandmother
Hailing rides at dawn
Mischievous
“Now pretend you are sick
And lay your head on my shoulder”
Or, crushing,
“You should have known better
You’re that much older.”
The huge leap
Required
To recognize one’s face in the mirror
Goes un-noticed
The quiet enterprise of creating a self-story
Un-heard
The maverick testing of wit
Stealing money for sweets
Sneaking away for a swim in the river
Was found out
And crushed.

Pulse

(the 14th of February, 2012)

Attuned to love’s pulse
Days quicken
Nights come round
Suppers of sweet and sour
Fruit picked green and ripe abound
One little seedling nestling in our bed
Caged between arms and legs –
The branches of two arbours intertwined
Locked in rest
Pillow tenderness
For that which is yet to grow
For that which at dawn half a-dream we caress
But will never possess.

Restless

(London, the 12th of January, 2011)

Timed out in this spot
Restless, restless,
This day is a fugitive
That creeps further
Into corners which cannot be filled
With wild patterns and pretty dresses
Moving pictures or strolls in the park
There, between the ironing board and the keyboard
Lies the choice of epitaph
In passing I also touch piano keys, back-door keys
And keys labeled “Poison Cupboard”
A dance within the limits
Of a twenty-four hour enclosure
Choreography with repeating steps

Tide

(By Gub, the 30th of January, 2012)

The rip tide
The autumn fold
The clutching at summer
The fever's cold

Roots entangled
The gape
The yawn
The cavity
Circumference
Of tidal spawn

Flotsam,
Jetsom
Mice and men
The beach combed.

Coxwains
Dead
God rest
the men.

Blunder
On past ripples
Grey
The owl dust
Ochre
The fade
Of day

No heart for hope
Numbskull
Squall
The beach
A desert
For the herd
That suffers

The beckon
The lowing
The cloud
Ducked
Call.

My winter
My cold cold air
Frozen before
Breathe

I fall.

Interview

(the 13th of January, 2012, Sutton and Merton) 

What’s on the other side?
Will you guard Our fears? And if hope is a bird,
Will you let it nest in your back yard?
I sit still. You're asking a Fool.
You're begging a Begger.
So you want to adore
And submit to my whims
To pound me with your need
I'm a robin sitting on a fence
Surviving your winter
Is your longed-for Saviour
Riddled with doubt
And bent?